So, as part of my procrastination, I came up with this gem (update:
dereactivated; my ego doesn’t boost itself).
I found myself heavily influenced by delicioustacos and an earnest refusal to give a fuck when writing the profile. It makes me come across as a self-absorbed, narcissistic dick who is inappropriately preoccupied with sex and things relating to sex. And yet, I’ve had great success with it.
The only thing is: I don’t actually live in Boston. The ego boost and validation is huge, though.